![]() Emotional loneliness is more likely when there is a lack of intimacy in close, exclusive relationships with one’s romantic partner, parents, or kids. Social loneliness is felt when we do not have a confidante and are unable to get support from peers, colleagues, family, or friends. It is when we miss mattering to others - irrespective of whether we are alone or living with someone. Loneliness, which is far less satisfying, occurs when we crave social and emotional needs that are not being met. In our busy lives, we all strive to carve out space or time to find peace and solitude - to reflect, unwind, and be creative. See more from Ascend here.īeing alone is often a luxury which has many positive outcomes. You’ll be surprised at how many dots you’re already connecting, if you were only listening.Where your work meets your life. Regardless of your method, please take my encouragement to spend some time alone with your thoughts and to pay attention to what’s actually happening in your mind. It is nearly impossible to write Morning Pages and remain stuck.” They reward our honesty with forward motion. As she writes on her blog, “Morning Pages give us a safe place to vent our hidden emotions.They urge us to be true to ourselves. Cameron suggests filling three full pages with longhand stream of consciousness writing first thing in the morning as a way to relieve anxiety, identify areas of stress and opportunity, and to get the “gunk” out of your mind before starting in on your work. You can repeat this practice a few times per day as a way of capturing your inner dialogue, or to identify what’s actually going on in your brain when you’re not stuffing it with stimulus from your environment.Īnother similar practice (that I’ve used to great effect!) is Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages, which was introduced in her best-seller The Artist’s Way. If something seemingly important comes to mind, follow that thought, build on it, and see where it goes. Write down anything that seems odd, anything that you think might require more thought, or any intuitive hunches that come to mind.ĥ. However, unlike traditional meditation (in which the idea is extreme focus on a central thing, like your breathing or a mantra) the goal here is to actually pay attention to the flitting thoughts that cross your mind, and to follow them.Ĥ. You can close your eyes if you’d like, or even treat this as a form of meditation. Grab a notebook, pen, and a comfortable spot.ģ. Dedicate 15-20 minutes first thing in the morning, before your day ramps up.Ģ. It’s amazing how many thoughts pass through your mind, slipping just beneath the level of your consciousness simply because you aren’t listening for them. I thought he was out of his mind until I started doing the same thing. Over time you may become skilled and experienced enough to “shoot from the hip” and still hit a lot of targets, but in truth you’re probably compromising your best work in doing so.Ībout fifteen years ago, I heard a friend say that the best practice he’d ever developed was plopping down in a chair first thing in the morning with a notebook and staring at the wall. None of the things above happen without intentional, sustained thought. If you are a designer, it’s the architecture of your concept from which everything else flows. If you are a manager, your capacity for noticing those tiny undercurrents in team dynamics in order to stem them or leverage them is a huge part of the value you provide. If you are an entrepreneur, your ability to see patterns, connect dots, and anticipate issues is what really sets you apart (in large part) from your competitors. It’s your ability to synthesize that communicates your unique value. If you are a writer, you are not paid to churn out words, you’re paid for your perspective. It’s much more comfortable to immerse yourself in the thoughts of others, letting the milieu wash over you rather than stilling yourself and considering your life, your work, and your relationships in a thoughtful manner. (If I come up with a great idea, then I’m accountable to act on it!) Most of it, though, is a kind of laziness. Some of it is, in a way, a fear that deep thought yields accountability for action. I’ve discovered that many people – myself sometimes included – are actually afraid to think. As frequently happens, I came away with a few key nuggets of insight that had been brewing in my mind, but that I’d not really noticed until I got alone with my thoughts. No music, no podcasts, no other external stimulus, just alone time and space to ruminate. I was stuck on a concept for a project today, so I went into the woods to think. I mean genuinely alone with your thoughts. When was the last time you could say that you were actually “alone with your thoughts”? I don’t mean sitting on a bus checking your Twitter feed, or standing in line at a coffee shop scrolling through your e-mail, or even sitting on a sofa reading a book.
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